All Grown Up

Last weekend the last of the Sarver boys entered adulthood ... it's hard to believe that Jonathan is now 21! His big brothers took him to Vegas so he could legally gamble ... I'm not sure Mom would be totally excited about her three boys running wild in Vegas, but she would be proud that they were very excited to celebrate together. Actually ... I took her to Vegas with Kathy and Suzi for her last birthday in 2007, so maybe she would be excited about it after all!

I'm so proud of Jonathan and how he is growing up and maturing ... he's doing well in school, has taken on a leadership role in his fraternity, is working as a Cutco knife salesman and is a regular "manny" for two kids in Austin who adore him. I do think Mom would be very proud of the young man he's shaping up to be. I just wish she were here to watch him grow up in person.

I often tell him how I remember when she told me she was pregnant with him ... it was our little secret and I was VERY excited at the prospect of having a baby sister. Well, as it turns out, he would have made a very ugly girl, but is an adorable young man. When I first saw him and they were weighing and measuring and getting his little footprints, I fell in love. He still has the baby blanket I picked out for him ... it had to match my room after all, since I insisted his crib be in there with me. Mom did an excellent job raising him, and I was happy to be "junior Mom" following in her footsteps. I haven't tried to fill her shoes (I would fail miserably), but I'm happy to offer helpful advice and counsel to Jonathan (and Jason and Justin, if they'd listen!) along the way.

So Mom ... your baby boy is all grown up. He's a bright young man with a bright future. You'd be very proud.

How time flies ...

The saying goes ... "time flies when you're having fun." That's not applicable in this situation, but it is true that time has flown by. It's hard to believe that Friday will be the one week anniversary of Mom's "graduation," as we like to call it. But as quickly as time has passed, that day is frozen in my memory, like a slow motion movie playing again and again. The fateful e-mail, then a phone call from my Dad saying "Jeni your mother was in a car accident. Your mother is dead." That call plays over and over in my head ... I was so disoriented and in such disbelief that I said, "You're joking, right?" Of course, it wasn't a joke. It was reality. And the last 12 months have been getting used to that new reality. One where I don't have a Mom to laugh with, talk to, cry with ... one where her smile is frozen in pictures, and her laugh only echoes in my head. I still struggle with trying to understand WHY. I know God has a purpose and a plan, and I don't second guess him. I just miss my Mom. I want to see her, talk to her, hug her ... I know I will again, but forever seems a long way off. So this week as I go about the busy-ness of life, with time flying by, I'll try to slow down. I'll remember the good times, and I'll make an extra effort to tell the ones I love how much they mean to me. Time flies, after all, and we never know what's around the corner.

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11)

Happy Mother's Day

Mom:

You taught me to walk.
You taught me to read and write.
You taught me to pray.
You taught me to swim.
You taught me to love.
You taught me to sing.
You taught me right from wrong.
You taught me to bold.
You taught me compassion.
You taught me to accessorize.
You taught me to laugh.
You taught me that true beauty is on the inside.
You taught me confidence.
You taught me to lead by example.
You taught me to serve others.
You taught me that success isn’t measured in dollar signs, but in the number of lives I impact.
You taught me that character counts.

And when you died you reminded me of life’s greatest lessons:
This life is temporary.
Live every day like it’s your last.
Love everyone like you’ll never see them again.
Live a life that makes a difference for others every day.

Happy Mother’s Day

In Service to God, Community

Last month the City of McAllen honored mom with the inaugural "Community Service Award". Above is the page from the program, and if you can't read it, it says:

"The McAllen Mayor's Prayer Committee introduces a new dimension to the luncheon's program, The Community Service Award. After a review of potential awardees, the Committee unanimously selected Mrs. Cheri Sarver, former Principal of Covenant Christian Academy, as the first honoree of this award. Cheri's commitment of faith, love and inspiration was demonstrated daily to the students, parents, faculty, and staff of the Covenant Christian Academy, as well as to her church (Baptist Temple). Mrs. Sarver has been named posthumously to receive the award. Her husband, Mr. Barney Sarver, will accept the award on her behalf."

The keynote speaker at the event was William P. Young, the author of The Shack, a wonderful book about God's love and mercy; a book that had actually ministered to many people in my family over the course of the past eight months.

Overall, it was a wonderful event and we were so pleased that the city chose to honor Mom in such a public way. It is a great opportunity to continue her legacy and share her story and her life with others. It was also a great time to see the family! (see photo) I think one of the outgrowths of this tragedy has been a renewed appreciation for family; a desire to spend time with them whenever possible, and a reminder to always say "I love you," because you never know when it will be your last opportunity.

Blood is Thicker Than Water

It's been too long since I've update this blog, so I thought I'd add a couple of pictures from a recent Sarver sibling ski weekend. We are so blessed to be such a close family. We all enjoy each other's company, and spend most vacations trying to get together. It's a closeness that was instilled in us early on, and nurtured throughout the course of our lives.



When Mom made the decision to teach us at home in 1984, she took on an enormous challenge. Educating three rambunctious kids at three different grade levels must have a daunting prospect. But Mom relished the opportunity. She wanted to spend more time with us and hated the idea of someone else instilling values in her kids. She felt it was her God-given responsibility to "train up a child in the way he should go" as we read in Proverbs 22:6. She turned our formal dining room into a classroom, complete with chalkboards, school desks and electric pencil sharpeners. She made us wake up early, get showered and dress and sit down for school time. She took the responsibility very seriously, but she always made it fun. She introduced new games and songs to help jog our memory or turn a complicated idea into something memorable. She helped us with English, science and history, always helping the subject come alive. She had a gift for teaching and nurturing. A gift that was later shared with hundreds of kids at Covenant Christian Academy.

For 12 years she taught her children at home, forgoing opportunities to work full time outside of the home or have much of a life outside of her family and her service. She felt like we were her calling, and we are blessed beyond measure because of her sacrifice. We all excelled academically, and went on to graduate at the top of our classes from Sharyland High School. But it was that early foundation that she laid that created a sturdy grounding for future success. And, it was those early years in which we spent so much time together, morning, noon and night that we learned that the best of friends are those who share our blood. The bond of siblings is the strongest and I'm grateful that she taught us to be friends.

Christmas in Mexico

This year we decided to head South for Christmas. Knowing that this particularly holiday would be especially hard without Mom, we thought a fun, activity-filled tropical vacation was in order. So we planned a trip to Playa del Carmen, Mexico where we could blissfully ignore all of the holiday traditions and memories that might have caused sadness rather then joy on this happiness of holidays. Well, after a few mishaps along the way (lost passports, wrong names on tickets, 3-hour plane delays) our plan worked. We had a great Christmas in Playa full of fun, laughter and new memories. We snorkeled, swam, canoed, zip-lined, biked, rappelled, cave dived, played beach volleyball, hiked and climbed to the top of an ancient Mayan pyramid at Coba. (We're pictured above at the top of the pyramid.)

As you can see, we were more "active" then a normal beach vacation and spent a lot of time hiking around and exploring the beautiful sites. This is a view from the cliffs of Tulum, another Mayan village we explored. We did spend a day lounging by one of the two huge pools with poolside food and drinks service. Below is a picture of the Sarver Boys horsing around in the pool.

We stayed at the beautiful new Hacienda Tres Rios along the Riviera Maya. The resort was less than a month old, and was built on the site of a nature preserve, so there was lush vegitation, natural pools called cenotes, bike trails, animal watching and of course, there was lots of eating at our luxurious "all inclusive" resort. After all that eating, we had to enjoy some time in the sun (with suncsreen, of course!).

Overall, we had a great time goofing off with one another and celebrating Christmas. We hope to revive many of our family traditions next year...Mom's Swedish cookies and meatballs, a special Christmas breakfast with sausage and gravy, homemade apple sauce and eggs, a night around the tree with crackers and cheese and sparkling wine, sharing our favorite holiday memories. (Boy, it seems like a lot of our traditions revolve around FOOD!) While we missed Mom dearly, and her seat at the table was noticeably empty, we were grateful for the time time together and for the many blessings God has given us. Merry Christmas to all and best wishes for a Happy New Year!

The First Thanksgiving

Last week we celebrated the first Thanksgiving without Mom. The Longhorn and Aggie wings of the Johnson family met in Austin for the annual Thanksgiving football match. We enjoyed the cool weather, TONS of bbq at the Salt Lick, and of course THE game. (49-9, Texas won)

As I sat around with my family thinking of all that I'm grateful for...good health, a job that I love, amazing friends and family, a free and democratic country and above all, my Heavenly father, I couldn't help but think of Mom. My heart still aches when I think about life without her. Not an hour goes by that I don't think about her. She loved the holidays. She relished any chance to celebrate, decorate, cook and most of all, spent time with her family. Even if we didn't always share Thansksgiving Day together, we were always celebrating together in spirit. This year, though most of the family was actually together in person, Mom was noticeably absent...but her spirit lives on in all of us.

This year, the thing I'm most grateful for is my Mother. The blessing of her in my life as a teacher, mentor and friend, is above all that I could have ever hoped for. I'm grateful that God gave her to me for 32 years, and I'm grateful for the impact she had in my life and the lives of countless others.

Ms. Cheri's Gym!

Last Friday, Oct. 17, 2008 we dedicated the "Cheri Sarver Gymnasium" at Covenant Christian Academy. It was four months to the day of when we held Mom's memorial service...her "graduation celebration" as Dad called it. It was a fitting way to mark the occasion. The new gym and multipurpose building was a huge accomplishment for Mom.

She spent hours of time, energy and prayer helping to plan, prepare for, fundraise for and organize the new building. In many ways it was the culmination of her dream for CCA to move to the next level, by having a permanent building and a solid foundation for the future. She was thrilled when the first bit of concrete was poured, when the walls went up and when the first the event was held there just weeks before her death. I can only imagine that she would wholeheartedly approve of the final accessory...her name on the corner of the building! The dedication service included music, testimony and photos of her beloved CCA kids, and it culminated in the release of 500 purple balloons into the sky...little tokens of love being let up in the air to say one last goodbye to Ms. Cheri.

Mom, you'd be proud. You are missed more than words can begin to express, but we're all working hard to keep your legacy alive, living every day with purpose and passion.

Cheri Sarver Believed God!

Many people have shared so eloquently about Mom...it's comforting to read through them and see how much she inspired others. Below is a note Tom Fleming wrote in a card to Grandma Joyce...

"I wanted to share what I wrote in my journal on Tuesday, June 17, 2008: Cheri’s funeral was today. I was more “teary” and have cried more in the last 5 1/2 days than I ever have in my life. I felt such a mixture of emotions: sadness for the loss, joy over a life given to God, insecurity about the future, inspired by a life that touched so many, thankful to have had the opportunity to know her, and watch her in action, blessed to have learned from her and about her. I loved her management style—very hands-on, and people followed her. She was a woman of conviction, who knew how to laugh, who somehow captured what it is to really love. I’m sure she had all the struggles every human being has, but I really think she believed in God. The woman really believed God. She didn’t just believe in God, Cheri Sarver believed God! It’s not an “I’m believing God for this or that,” but an “I believe God who tells me so many wonderful things in His word.” If one really believes God, how could they not be as joyful as Cheri Sarver?"

With Much Christian Love,

Tom Fleming

Ms. Cheri

This is from the daughter of one of Mom's close friends and a teacher at CCA:

you know how some people say that others are beautiful inside and out? when i say that about ms. cheri, i honestly mean it. my mom is the spanish teacher at a private christian school in my hometown of mcallen, texas. agustin also attends the school and both he and my mom absolutely love it there. when my mom met her for the first time, she came home and told me, "everyone is so nice there, and the principle, she is so sweet. i've never met someone so joyful in my life." as the school year started and i went off to college, mom would always call and tell me what was going on at the school and would just brag about her "lovely spanish speaking" students. she also let me know how she developed a close bond with ms. cheri and how it was a total blessing to have a person like her in her life. i finally got a chance to meet her during one of my visits home. when i did, it was as if we'd known eachother for years. she was so caring and welcoming and not to mention, i witnessed how loving she was towards my mom and family. during my summer vacations at home, i'd go to school with my mom to help her get things together for the upcoming school year or with summer camp classes and ms. cheri was always there to encourage my mom and to see what was new in my life. she would always ask how the school year had gone or what i wanted to do after graduation. and she would always be so thoughtful about my many different ambitions. i'll never forget when mom and i went to a special event at baptist temple, the church where ms. cheri attended. after the event, ms. cheri, mom, and me had a couple cups of coffee and lots of shared laughter at a local restaurant. i'll never forget the way she spoke of her family and how much every single one of her kids meant to her. she shared funny stories and gave excellent advice. mom adored her sense of humor and her honest heart and not only that, mom really considered her one of her closest friends. it made me happy to see that my mom and baby brother were so blessed to have a leader like her in their lives and not only was she a huge impact on them, but also on my dad and middle brother, matias. they loved her just as much!

on the morning of the accident, i was on my way home from summer school. i couldn't believe what my mom had told me on the phone. i kept thinking, "surely there's been a mistake." i was in total shock and became hysterical. i started praying and asked God to grant me the assurance that everything was going to be okay, that her family would be taken care of and loved on, and that my mom, the other teachers, parents and students at CCA would be comforted and at peace. now, i rarely listen to the radio but for some reason, that day i was. i somewhat calmed down and was searching through stations. and out of nowhere, the song "sherry" by the four seasons came on. as weird as it sounds, i had so much peace in my heart and i just burst out in laughter and happy tears. and that was His way of letting me know, she's okay.

i don't know where to begin in explaining how amazing she was and how to tell you how much she blessed my families life and the lives of others. when mom talks about school now, it's a little different. of course she's so happy to be back with her students and agustin is totallyyy enjoying his year as a 5th grader, but when there is an irreplaceable person missing..nothing is the same. God has blessed the school with new leadership and has a grip on the "CCA family". this school year is going to be hard on them and their families at home.

and me? well..i miss her. when i call my mom and she's in the middle of carpool, i miss the voice in the background saying "hey sweetheart!" and mom saying, "ms. cheri says hi!" and handing her the phone to have a quick hello/goodbye. i miss getting pictures from my dad through email of ms. cheri and all the kids dressed up for 16 de septiembre at school. and most of all, i miss her as a strong christian leader and as someone who i looked up to with my whole heart. it took me such a long time to write a blog about her because i had so much to say and couldn't find the words to say it and still don't know if this all sounds okay. but, i know she's having a blast right now. she couldn't be any happier! she left behind a beautiful legacy that will go on through her family, through the CCA family and through other lives she has touched. it's just like what agustin said about her, "this isn't goodbye, it's just a 'see you later'".

Where does my help come from?

This just doesn't get easier. All of the things people say about grief are true. It's unpredictable. It's a rollercoaster. It comes in waves. Right now I feel like I've been hit by a tsunami. How is it possible to go from calmly watching the Presidential debates to sobbing uncontrollably? How can I go from being perfectly OK and in control of my emotions to being a wreck? My only explanation is that the power of my emotion is rooted in the powerful love of my Mother. She was such an incredible human being with an enormous capacity for love, forgiveness and grace. She daily lived an examplary life. A life that made a difference. A life that invested in others, cared for others, loved others. My hope is to daily strive to be a fraction like her. To put others first. To have a serving, giving heart...I don't think I come close. But I'm trying. And, when I need encouragement I turn to the scriptures. Tonight, the verses of comfort come from Psalms.

Psalm 121
I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand.

Happy Birthday, Boys!!!

In the past two weeks Jason and Jonathan both had "milestone" birthdays. Jason said goodbye to his 20s turning 30 and Jonathan said goodbye to his teens, turning the big 2-0! Mom would have been so proud to see her boys getting older and celebrating life. She always enjoyed making a spectacle of our birthdays. She knew how to make us feel special and loved, so this year I tried to do the same for the boys. Throwing Jason a big party in Washington and taking Jonathan out for a steak dinner in Austin. I think she'd be proud of the way we love and support each other. Happy Birthday boys...here's to many more years!

First Week of School!

Today (Friday, 8/29/08) marks the end of the first week of school at Covenant Christian Academy for the 08-09 year. This is the first time in 12 years that Cheri has not been there and the first time that the K4-8th graders have not had her there as either their teacher or principal. Tough week for almost all of the teachers including me.

Susie Booth, Laura Cohrs, Trica Salinas, Karen Heck Stephanie Back, Laural Griffin, Milton Gonzalez (our new principal) and most of other teachers and adults present were all in tears at the opening assembly in the new "Ms. Cheri's Gym" on Wednesday, the 27th. Especailly hard was the worship time led by Brandon Vale, CCA's Science teacher and an accomplished singer/musician. The Lord gave him a new song inspired by Cheri's slogan of "we are blessed to be a blessing". A great song but tough for us to sing since it reminded us of our loss. Cheri would have been excited (and she is) about the song. Good beat and meaningful words.

During the week so many of the little kids would run up and hug me and say "we are praying for your and your family", "I'm sorry that Ms Cheri's is gone", "Don't worry Mr. B, she is in Heaven with Jesus". Do you know how hard it is to hold back the tears when a little first or second grader tells you something like that? God gave me grace and strength because I did not want them to feel bad by bawling like a baby in front of them. Wonderful, sensative, Godly little kids. I'm so blessed to be able to be a part of the faculty at CCA.

That is the legacy the Cheri has left us and we will continue on to honor the Lord and her memory. CCA has grown and will continue on doing so as we trust the Lord and follow His leading in the management and growth of Covenant Christian Academy.

How are you spending your time?

Below is a link to an article written by Tony Snow in Christianity Today last summer. Jason found this article recently and shared it with me. Tony had a powerful perch from which to survey his life, knowing that his death was on the horizon. He did indeed die earlier this year, which makes this article even more poignant. It has some powerful messages for thinking about life, death and what happens in between. Even if you don't read the whole article, ponder this one comment:

"We don't know how the narrative of our lives will end, but we get to choose how to use the interval between now and the moment we meet our Creator face-to-face."

I know that my Mom spent every moment of her life serving and loving others. At her death, she was ready to meet her Creator confident that she had spent her time wisely.

How are you spending your time?

Cancer's Unexpected Blessings
When you enter the Valley of the Shadow of Death, things change.
Tony Snow posted 7/20/2007 02:30PM

http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/article_print.html?id=47315

Just to hear her voice...

One of the hardest things about dealing with Mom's death has been the loss of her sweet voice…her joyous, lovely, comforting voice. She’d call and leave voicemails (one, two or three times a day, sometimes!), and she’d say, “Hey hunnnn…it’s your favorite Mom. Love you!” or “Hey doll…just checking in. I love you.” We were never a family to record family outings or events, so sadly we don’t have much in the way of video archives to play back and hear her. But, thanks to modern technology, I have a quick clip (courtesy of Melodie Fleming), of her in May of this year, a few short weeks before her death. She’s reading scripture and encouraging the kids at school at the CCA Awards Ceremony. I’ve been playing it over and over at my desk. It comforts me and brings a smile to my face to be able to hear that sweet voice again. Enjoy.

Back to School

Today is Back to School day for teachers at Covenant Christian Academy, the school where Mom spent countless hours each week over the last decade. Right about now, she would have been running around like crazy helping teachers get their classrooms ready, interviewing last minute parents, testing students, making sure there were enough supplies, making sure the best teachers were hired, and ready to teach and love on the CCA kids. All of the teachers, students and parents called her “Miss Cheri.” She loved to stand out in the driveway during carpool doling out hugs and kisses to the kiddos as they made their way to and from campus. She also loved to dress up and entertain the kids. This is a picture of her as her Swedish Grandma. Complete with a mock Swedish accent she’d visit classrooms, cook up special dishes and treat the kids to stories of her adventures. She was a total goofball because she knew if they were enjoying themselves that learning would come even easier. She always had a kind word of encouragement to share with the parents, the kids and the staff. She prayed daily for each of them, desiring so deeply for them to know the Lord and to pursue excellence in every aspect of their lives. I miss hearing about it all. I miss the daily phone calls to catch up, to vent, to gossip and to learn all that was happening on campus. I pray that the teachers and staff at CCA are keeping her memory alive by being the best teachers, administrators, counselors, mentors and friends that they can possibly be. Mom would want nothing less then the absolute best.

"Held" - Natalie Grant

A Day to Remember

About this time (8:25 am) exactly 2 months ago Justin (#2 son) called me on my cell phone while I was playing golf with Jason (#1 son) in Maryland. I was in D.C. to spend the Father's Day weekend with Jeni and Jason golfing, sightseeing, restaurant hopping and just enjoying spending time with both of them. Justin's call was short and hard hitting, "Mom's been in an accident and I'm heading to the hospital"! Jason and I immediately left the course and headed back to D.C. A few short minutes later, my best friend James called and said the most hard hitting, unbelievable words I have ever heard, "Cheri's gone Barney. She didn't make it."! I cannot explain how helpless and shocked I felt at that moment, to be so far away from the situation and not being able to be with Cheri or to comfort Justin and Jonathan at their moment of greatest need.

I knew instantly that God was in control. In fact the thought never entered my mind that He wasn't. No anger, no questioning, no confusion. God has a plan and His plan is ALWAYS best and produces exactly what He intends. Almost in the same instant I felt a peace and strength come over me that I had never before experienced. I knew that the Lord was covering and protecting my kids and I for the days and weeks ahead that we needed to face. And to this day we still feel that special grace and protection He has blessed us with.

I am so grateful for my church (Baptist Temple), my FCA brothers and sisters, and the parents and staff of Covenant Christian Academy (where Cheri was the principal) for all the prayers, cards, letters, e-mails, text messaging, food and support during the past two months. The various communities of the Rio Grande Valley have shown their concern and love by letters, cards and e-mails as well. Almost every coaching staff in S. Texas has sent their condolances to our family as well. We have been supported and encouraged by folks literally from all over the world. I don't know how people can go through something like this without the strength of the Lord and the love and support from fellow Believers. There is such a comfort and strength given and received from those that Love the Lord.

It has been an incredible experience! We have always been a real close family but this situation has brought us even closer. We have seen and felt first hand the strength and grace of the Body of Christ in action. There is a much bigger picture here than just the Sarver family. God has and is using this seemingly tragic accident as a catalyst to reach hundreds and even thousands of people with the "Good News" of Jesus Christ. Lives are being changed for eternity because of the single life of Cheri Sarver. This day, two months ago began like a rock being dropped into a pond of water. The ripples of that drop are reaching out to people in every widening circles, touching their lives by the life of Cheri.

So, today reminds us that Cheri has "graduated" to her heavenly reward. But, it also reminds us that God began a great, new work in a multitude of lives on this day as well. That work will continue until God's perfect plan has been accomplished. God is Good!

5,270,400 Seconds

Two months. Sixty one days. 1,464 hours. 87,840 minutes. 5,270,400 seconds. That's how long it's been since Mom departed this earth and went home to be with her heavenly father. I will never forget the phone call on June 12, that changed my life forever. "Your mother was in a car accident and died. Your mother is dead." The words replay in my head often, haunting me, shocking me, surprising me...hitting me in the gut like an iron fist. The pain does get duller every day, but her memory is as vivid as ever. Her laughter, her smile and her kind words all combined to make make the world a better, more loving place. To make my life brighter and full of joy and purpose. I am at peace with the loss. I believe that God has a plan. I trust that it will be revealed in His time. But I miss my beautiful Mom.

My thoughtful sister

I was fortunate to find a few birthday cards from Cheri while cleaning my desk. She would always add a few thoughtful, kind words such as........
"Oct. 2, 1958
You were born
We have loved you ever since. Cheri xoxoxoxo"

Happy Birthday "You are such a beautiful, lovely sister. I have enjoyed you so much as a friend. Love your sis, Cheri"

"You are loved! Hugs and Kisses xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
From your favorite sister and brother-in-law Cheri & Barney"

"Love and prayers, Cheri
My baby sister who is aging gracefully"

Cheri always remembered to send cards...........I hope I find more as I go through my stuff.
She called me on a regular basis to check in on me. Usually she was driving home from the school or was sitting in the jacuzzi relaxing. I know she called me more often than I called her and I do miss those calls. Our last phone call consisted of her looking on the internet for a place in the Hill Country to celebrate my upcoming birthday. She seemed more excited than I. Our conversation ended with me telling her that I needed to go to bed and get some sleep. After our goodbyes, I found out she promptly called Jeni and continued the internet search. She seemed to have endless energy. I miss her dearly and think of her daily. Kathy