Cheri Sarver: Blessed to be a Blessing

All Grown Up

2009-09-15T15:08:00.000-07:00

Last weekend the last of the Sarver boys entered adulthood ... it's hard to believe that Jonathan is now 21! His big brothers took him to Vegas so he could legally gamble ... I'm not sure Mom would be totally excited about her three boys running wild in Vegas, but she would be proud that they were very excited to celebrate together. Actually ... I took her to Vegas with Kathy and Suzi for her last birthday in 2007, so maybe she would be excited about it after all!

I'm so proud of Jonathan and how he is growing up and maturing ... he's doing well in school, has taken on a leadership role in his fraternity, is working as a Cutco knife salesman and is a regular "manny" for two kids in Austin who adore him. I do think Mom would be very proud of the young man he's shaping up to be. I just wish she were here to watch him grow up in person.

I often tell him how I remember when she told me she was pregnant with him ... it was our little secret and I was VERY excited at the prospect of having a baby sister. Well, as it turns out, he would have made a very ugly girl, but is an adorable young man. When I first saw him and they were weighing and measuring and getting his little footprints, I fell in love. He still has the baby blanket I picked out for him ... it had to match my room after all, since I insisted his crib be in there with me. Mom did an excellent job raising him, and I was happy to be "junior Mom" following in her footsteps. I haven't tried to fill her shoes (I would fail miserably), but I'm happy to offer helpful advice and counsel to Jonathan (and Jason and Justin, if they'd listen!) along the way.

So Mom ... your baby boy is all grown up. He's a bright young man with a bright future. You'd be very proud.

How time flies ...

2009-06-08T15:24:00.000-07:00

The saying goes ... "time flies when you're having fun." That's not applicable in this situation, but it is true that time has flown by. It's hard to believe that Friday will be the one week anniversary of Mom's "graduation," as we like to call it. But as quickly as time has passed, that day is frozen in my memory, like a slow motion movie playing again and again. The fateful e-mail, then a phone call from my Dad saying "Jeni your mother was in a car accident. Your mother is dead." That call plays over and over in my head ... I was so disoriented and in such disbelief that I said, "You're joking, right?" Of course, it wasn't a joke. It was reality. And the last 12 months have been getting used to that new reality. One where I don't have a Mom to laugh with, talk to, cry with ... one where her smile is frozen in pictures, and her laugh only echoes in my head. I still struggle with trying to understand WHY. I know God has a purpose and a plan, and I don't second guess him. I just miss my Mom. I want to see her, talk to her, hug her ... I know I will again, but forever seems a long way off. So this week as I go about the busy-ness of life, with time flying by, I'll try to slow down. I'll remember the good times, and I'll make an extra effort to tell the ones I love how much they mean to me. Time flies, after all, and we never know what's around the corner.

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11)

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T19:22:00.000-07:00

Mom:

You taught me to walk.
You taught me to read and write.
You taught me to pray.
You taught me to swim.
You taught me to love.
You taught me to sing.
You taught me right from wrong.
You taught me to bold.
You taught me compassion.
You taught me to accessorize.
You taught me to laugh.
You taught me that true beauty is on the inside.
You taught me confidence.
You taught me to lead by example.
You taught me to serve others.
You taught me that success isn’t measured in dollar signs, but in the number of lives I impact.
You taught me that character counts.

And when you died you reminded me of life’s greatest lessons:
This life is temporary.
Live every day like it’s your last.
Love everyone like you’ll never see them again.
Live a life that makes a difference for others every day.

Happy Mother’s Day

In Service to God, Community

2009-03-25T10:49:00.000-07:00

Last month the City of McAllen honored mom with the inaugural "Community Service Award". Above is the page from the program, and if you can't read it, it says:

"The McAllen Mayor's Prayer Committee introduces a new dimension to the luncheon's program, The Community Service Award. After a review of potential awardees, the Committee unanimously selected Mrs. Cheri Sarver, former Principal of Covenant Christian Academy, as the first honoree of this award. Cheri's commitment of faith, love and inspiration was demonstrated daily to the students, parents, faculty, and staff of the Covenant Christian Academy, as well as to her church (Baptist Temple). Mrs. Sarver has been named posthumously to receive the award. Her husband, Mr. Barney Sarver, will accept the award on her behalf."

The keynote speaker at the event was William P. Young, the author of The Shack, a wonderful book about God's love and mercy; a book that had actually ministered to many people in my family over the course of the past eight months.

Overall, it was a wonderful event and we were so pleased that the city chose to honor Mom in such a public way. It is a great opportunity to continue her legacy and share her story and her life with others. It was also a great time to see the family! (see photo) I think one of the outgrowths of this tragedy has been a renewed appreciation for family; a desire to spend time with them whenever possible, and a reminder to always say "I love you," because you never know when it will be your last opportunity.

Blood is Thicker Than Water

2009-02-18T20:29:00.000-08:00

It's been too long since I've update this blog, so I thought I'd add a couple of pictures from a recent Sarver sibling ski weekend. We are so blessed to be such a close family. We all enjoy each other's company, and spend most vacations trying to get together. It's a closeness that was instilled in us early on, and nurtured throughout the course of our lives.

When Mom made the decision to teach us at home in 1984, she took on an enormous challenge. Educating three rambunctious kids at three different grade levels must have a daunting prospect. But Mom relished the opportunity. She wanted to spend more time with us and hated the idea of someone else instilling values in her kids. She felt it was her God-given responsibility to "train up a child in the way he should go" as we read in Proverbs 22:6. She turned our formal dining room into a classroom, complete with chalkboards, school desks and electric pencil sharpeners. She made us wake up early, get showered and dress and sit down for school time. She took the responsibility very seriously, but she always made it fun. She introduced new games and songs to help jog our memory or turn a complicated idea into something memorable. She helped us with English, science and history, always helping the subject come alive. She had a gift for teaching and nurturing. A gift that was later shared with hundreds of kids at Covenant Christian Academy.

For 12 years she taught her children at home, forgoing opportunities to work full time outside of the home or have much of a life outside of her family and her service. She felt like we were her calling, and we are blessed beyond measure because of her sacrifice. We all excelled academically, and went on to graduate at the top of our classes from Sharyland High School. But it was that early foundation that she laid that created a sturdy grounding for future success. And, it was those early years in which we spent so much time together, morning, noon and night that we learned that the best of friends are those who share our blood. The bond of siblings is the strongest and I'm grateful that she taught us to be friends.

Christmas in Mexico

2008-12-30T10:04:00.000-08:00

This year we decided to head South for Christmas. Knowing that this particularly holiday would be especially hard without Mom, we thought a fun, activity-filled tropical vacation was in order. So we planned a trip to Playa del Carmen, Mexico where we could blissfully ignore all of the holiday traditions and memories that might have caused sadness rather then joy on this happiness of holidays. Well, after a few mishaps along the way (lost passports, wrong names on tickets, 3-hour plane delays) our plan worked. We had a great Christmas in Playa full of fun, laughter and new memories. We snorkeled, swam, canoed, zip-lined, biked, rappelled, cave dived, played beach volleyball, hiked and climbed to the top of an ancient Mayan pyramid at Coba. (We're pictured above at the top of the pyramid.)

As you can see, we were more "active" then a normal beach vacation and spent a lot of time hiking around and exploring the beautiful sites. This is a view from the cliffs of Tulum, another Mayan village we explored. We did spend a day lounging by one of the two huge pools with poolside food and drinks service. Below is a picture of the Sarver Boys horsing around in the pool.

We stayed at the beautiful new Hacienda Tres Rios along the Riviera Maya. The resort was less than a month old, and was built on the site of a nature preserve, so there was lush vegitation, natural pools called cenotes, bike trails, animal watching and of course, there was lots of eating at our luxurious "all inclusive" resort. After all that eating, we had to enjoy some time in the sun (with suncsreen, of course!).

Overall, we had a great time goofing off with one another and celebrating Christmas. We hope to revive many of our family traditions next year...Mom's Swedish cookies and meatballs, a special Christmas breakfast with sausage and gravy, homemade apple sauce and eggs, a night around the tree with crackers and cheese and sparkling wine, sharing our favorite holiday memories. (Boy, it seems like a lot of our traditions revolve around FOOD!) While we missed Mom dearly, and her seat at the table was noticeably empty, we were grateful for the time time together and for the many blessings God has given us. Merry Christmas to all and best wishes for a Happy New Year!

The First Thanksgiving

2008-12-06T11:53:00.000-08:00

Last week we celebrated the first Thanksgiving without Mom. The Longhorn and Aggie wings of the Johnson family met in Austin for the annual Thanksgiving football match. We enjoyed the cool weather, TONS of bbq at the Salt Lick, and of course THE game. (49-9, Texas won)

As I sat around with my family thinking of all that I'm grateful for...good health, a job that I love, amazing friends and family, a free and democratic country and above all, my Heavenly father, I couldn't help but think of Mom. My heart still aches when I think about life without her. Not an hour goes by that I don't think about her. She loved the holidays. She relished any chance to celebrate, decorate, cook and most of all, spent time with her family. Even if we didn't always share Thansksgiving Day together, we were always celebrating together in spirit. This year, though most of the family was actually together in person, Mom was noticeably absent...but her spirit lives on in all of us.

This year, the thing I'm most grateful for is my Mother. The blessing of her in my life as a teacher, mentor and friend, is above all that I could have ever hoped for. I'm grateful that God gave her to me for 32 years, and I'm grateful for the impact she had in my life and the lives of countless others.

Ms. Cheri's Gym!

2008-10-19T20:18:00.000-07:00

Last Friday, Oct. 17, 2008 we dedicated the "Cheri Sarver Gymnasium" at Covenant Christian Academy. It was four months to the day of when we held Mom's memorial service...her "graduation celebration" as Dad called it. It was a fitting way to mark the occasion. The new gym and multipurpose building was a huge accomplishment for Mom.

She spent hours of time, energy and prayer helping to plan, prepare for, fundraise for and organize the new building. In many ways it was the culmination of her dream for CCA to move to the next level, by having a permanent building and a solid foundation for the future. She was thrilled when the first bit of concrete was poured, when the walls went up and when the first the event was held there just weeks before her death. I can only imagine that she would wholeheartedly approve of the final accessory...her name on the corner of the building! The dedication service included music, testimony and photos of her beloved CCA kids, and it culminated in the release of 500 purple balloons into the sky...little tokens of love being let up in the air to say one last goodbye to Ms. Cheri.

Mom, you'd be proud. You are missed more than words can begin to express, but we're all working hard to keep your legacy alive, living every day with purpose and passion.

Cheri Sarver Believed God!

2008-10-15T18:49:00.000-07:00

Many people have shared so eloquently about Mom...it's comforting to read through them and see how much she inspired others. Below is a note Tom Fleming wrote in a card to Grandma Joyce...

"I wanted to share what I wrote in my journal on Tuesday, June 17, 2008: Cheri’s funeral was today. I was more “teary” and have cried more in the last 5 1/2 days than I ever have in my life. I felt such a mixture of emotions: sadness for the loss, joy over a life given to God, insecurity about the future, inspired by a life that touched so many, thankful to have had the opportunity to know her, and watch her in action, blessed to have learned from her and about her. I loved her management style—very hands-on, and people followed her. She was a woman of conviction, who knew how to laugh, who somehow captured what it is to really love. I’m sure she had all the struggles every human being has, but I really think she believed in God. The woman really believed God. She didn’t just believe in God, Cheri Sarver believed God! It’s not an “I’m believing God for this or that,” but an “I believe God who tells me so many wonderful things in His word.” If one really believes God, how could they not be as joyful as Cheri Sarver?"

With Much Christian Love,

Tom Fleming

Ms. Cheri

2008-10-11T18:18:00.000-07:00

This is from the daughter of one of Mom's close friends and a teacher at CCA:

you know how some people say that others are beautiful inside and out? when i say that about ms. cheri, i honestly mean it. my mom is the spanish teacher at a private christian school in my hometown of mcallen, texas. agustin also attends the school and both he and my mom absolutely love it there. when my mom met her for the first time, she came home and told me, "everyone is so nice there, and the principle, she is so sweet. i've never met someone so joyful in my life." as the school year started and i went off to college, mom would always call and tell me what was going on at the school and would just brag about her "lovely spanish speaking" students. she also let me know how she developed a close bond with ms. cheri and how it was a total blessing to have a person like her in her life. i finally got a chance to meet her during one of my visits home. when i did, it was as if we'd known eachother for years. she was so caring and welcoming and not to mention, i witnessed how loving she was towards my mom and family. during my summer vacations at home, i'd go to school with my mom to help her get things together for the upcoming school year or with summer camp classes and ms. cheri was always there to encourage my mom and to see what was new in my life. she would always ask how the school year had gone or what i wanted to do after graduation. and she would always be so thoughtful about my many different ambitions. i'll never forget when mom and i went to a special event at baptist temple, the church where ms. cheri attended. after the event, ms. cheri, mom, and me had a couple cups of coffee and lots of shared laughter at a local restaurant. i'll never forget the way she spoke of her family and how much every single one of her kids meant to her. she shared funny stories and gave excellent advice. mom adored her sense of humor and her honest heart and not only that, mom really considered her one of her closest friends. it made me happy to see that my mom and baby brother were so blessed to have a leader like her in their lives and not only was she a huge impact on them, but also on my dad and middle brother, matias. they loved her just as much!

on the morning of the accident, i was on my way home from summer school. i couldn't believe what my mom had told me on the phone. i kept thinking, "surely there's been a mistake." i was in total shock and became hysterical. i started praying and asked God to grant me the assurance that everything was going to be okay, that her family would be taken care of and loved on, and that my mom, the other teachers, parents and students at CCA would be comforted and at peace. now, i rarely listen to the radio but for some reason, that day i was. i somewhat calmed down and was searching through stations. and out of nowhere, the song "sherry" by the four seasons came on. as weird as it sounds, i had so much peace in my heart and i just burst out in laughter and happy tears. and that was His way of letting me know, she's okay.

i don't know where to begin in explaining how amazing she was and how to tell you how much she blessed my families life and the lives of others. when mom talks about school now, it's a little different. of course she's so happy to be back with her students and agustin is totallyyy enjoying his year as a 5th grader, but when there is an irreplaceable person missing..nothing is the same. God has blessed the school with new leadership and has a grip on the "CCA family". this school year is going to be hard on them and their families at home.

and me? well..i miss her. when i call my mom and she's in the middle of carpool, i miss the voice in the background saying "hey sweetheart!" and mom saying, "ms. cheri says hi!" and handing her the phone to have a quick hello/goodbye. i miss getting pictures from my dad through email of ms. cheri and all the kids dressed up for 16 de septiembre at school. and most of all, i miss her as a strong christian leader and as someone who i looked up to with my whole heart. it took me such a long time to write a blog about her because i had so much to say and couldn't find the words to say it and still don't know if this all sounds okay. but, i know she's having a blast right now. she couldn't be any happier! she left behind a beautiful legacy that will go on through her family, through the CCA family and through other lives she has touched. it's just like what agustin said about her, "this isn't goodbye, it's just a 'see you later'".

Where does my help come from?

2008-09-26T19:57:00.000-07:00

This just doesn't get easier. All of the things people say about grief are true. It's unpredictable. It's a rollercoaster. It comes in waves. Right now I feel like I've been hit by a tsunami. How is it possible to go from calmly watching the Presidential debates to sobbing uncontrollably? How can I go from being perfectly OK and in control of my emotions to being a wreck? My only explanation is that the power of my emotion is rooted in the powerful love of my Mother. She was such an incredible human being with an enormous capacity for love, forgiveness and grace. She daily lived an examplary life. A life that made a difference. A life that invested in others, cared for others, loved others. My hope is to daily strive to be a fraction like her. To put others first. To have a serving, giving heart...I don't think I come close. But I'm trying. And, when I need encouragement I turn to the scriptures. Tonight, the verses of comfort come from Psalms.

Psalm 121
I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand.

Happy Birthday, Boys!!!

2008-09-08T19:29:00.000-07:00

In the past two weeks Jason and Jonathan both had "milestone" birthdays. Jason said goodbye to his 20s turning 30 and Jonathan said goodbye to his teens, turning the big 2-0! Mom would have been so proud to see her boys getting older and celebrating life. She always enjoyed making a spectacle of our birthdays. She knew how to make us feel special and loved, so this year I tried to do the same for the boys. Throwing Jason a big party in Washington and taking Jonathan out for a steak dinner in Austin. I think she'd be proud of the way we love and support each other. Happy Birthday boys...here's to many more years!

First Week of School!

2008-08-29T15:55:00.000-07:00

Today (Friday, 8/29/08) marks the end of the first week of school at Covenant Christian Academy for the 08-09 year. This is the first time in 12 years that Cheri has not been there and the first time that the K4-8th graders have not had her there as either their teacher or principal. Tough week for almost all of the teachers including me.

Susie Booth, Laura Cohrs, Trica Salinas, Karen Heck Stephanie Back, Laural Griffin, Milton Gonzalez (our new principal) and most of other teachers and adults present were all in tears at the opening assembly in the new "Ms. Cheri's Gym" on Wednesday, the 27th. Especailly hard was the worship time led by Brandon Vale, CCA's Science teacher and an accomplished singer/musician. The Lord gave him a new song inspired by Cheri's slogan of "we are blessed to be a blessing". A great song but tough for us to sing since it reminded us of our loss. Cheri would have been excited (and she is) about the song. Good beat and meaningful words.

During the week so many of the little kids would run up and hug me and say "we are praying for your and your family", "I'm sorry that Ms Cheri's is gone", "Don't worry Mr. B, she is in Heaven with Jesus". Do you know how hard it is to hold back the tears when a little first or second grader tells you something like that? God gave me grace and strength because I did not want them to feel bad by bawling like a baby in front of them. Wonderful, sensative, Godly little kids. I'm so blessed to be able to be a part of the faculty at CCA.

That is the legacy the Cheri has left us and we will continue on to honor the Lord and her memory. CCA has grown and will continue on doing so as we trust the Lord and follow His leading in the management and growth of Covenant Christian Academy.

How are you spending your time?

2008-08-27T19:47:00.000-07:00

Below is a link to an article written by Tony Snow in Christianity Today last summer. Jason found this article recently and shared it with me. Tony had a powerful perch from which to survey his life, knowing that his death was on the horizon. He did indeed die earlier this year, which makes this article even more poignant. It has some powerful messages for thinking about life, death and what happens in between. Even if you don't read the whole article, ponder this one comment:

"We don't know how the narrative of our lives will end, but we get to choose how to use the interval between now and the moment we meet our Creator face-to-face."

I know that my Mom spent every moment of her life serving and loving others. At her death, she was ready to meet her Creator confident that she had spent her time wisely.

How are you spending your time?

Cancer's Unexpected Blessings
When you enter the Valley of the Shadow of Death, things change.
Tony Snow posted 7/20/2007 02:30PM

http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/article_print.html?id=47315

Just to hear her voice...

2008-08-20T07:27:00.000-07:00

One of the hardest things about dealing with Mom's death has been the loss of her sweet voice…her joyous, lovely, comforting voice. She’d call and leave voicemails (one, two or three times a day, sometimes!), and she’d say, “Hey hunnnn…it’s your favorite Mom. Love you!” or “Hey doll…just checking in. I love you.” We were never a family to record family outings or events, so sadly we don’t have much in the way of video archives to play back and hear her. But, thanks to modern technology, I have a quick clip (courtesy of Melodie Fleming), of her in May of this year, a few short weeks before her death. She’s reading scripture and encouraging the kids at school at the CCA Awards Ceremony. I’ve been playing it over and over at my desk. It comforts me and brings a smile to my face to be able to hear that sweet voice again. Enjoy.

Back to School

2008-08-18T08:58:00.000-07:00

Today is Back to School day for teachers at Covenant Christian Academy, the school where Mom spent countless hours each week over the last decade. Right about now, she would have been running around like crazy helping teachers get their classrooms ready, interviewing last minute parents, testing students, making sure there were enough supplies, making sure the best teachers were hired, and ready to teach and love on the CCA kids. All of the teachers, students and parents called her “Miss Cheri.” She loved to stand out in the driveway during carpool doling out hugs and kisses to the kiddos as they made their way to and from campus. She also loved to dress up and entertain the kids. This is a picture of her as her Swedish Grandma. Complete with a mock Swedish accent she’d visit classrooms, cook up special dishes and treat the kids to stories of her adventures. She was a total goofball because she knew if they were enjoying themselves that learning would come even easier. She always had a kind word of encouragement to share with the parents, the kids and the staff. She prayed daily for each of them, desiring so deeply for them to know the Lord and to pursue excellence in every aspect of their lives. I miss hearing about it all. I miss the daily phone calls to catch up, to vent, to gossip and to learn all that was happening on campus. I pray that the teachers and staff at CCA are keeping her memory alive by being the best teachers, administrators, counselors, mentors and friends that they can possibly be. Mom would want nothing less then the absolute best.

"Held" - Natalie Grant

2008-08-14T06:33:00.000-07:00

A Day to Remember

2008-08-12T06:13:00.000-07:00

About this time (8:25 am) exactly 2 months ago Justin (#2 son) called me on my cell phone while I was playing golf with Jason (#1 son) in Maryland. I was in D.C. to spend the Father's Day weekend with Jeni and Jason golfing, sightseeing, restaurant hopping and just enjoying spending time with both of them. Justin's call was short and hard hitting, "Mom's been in an accident and I'm heading to the hospital"! Jason and I immediately left the course and headed back to D.C. A few short minutes later, my best friend James called and said the most hard hitting, unbelievable words I have ever heard, "Cheri's gone Barney. She didn't make it."! I cannot explain how helpless and shocked I felt at that moment, to be so far away from the situation and not being able to be with Cheri or to comfort Justin and Jonathan at their moment of greatest need.

I knew instantly that God was in control. In fact the thought never entered my mind that He wasn't. No anger, no questioning, no confusion. God has a plan and His plan is ALWAYS best and produces exactly what He intends. Almost in the same instant I felt a peace and strength come over me that I had never before experienced. I knew that the Lord was covering and protecting my kids and I for the days and weeks ahead that we needed to face. And to this day we still feel that special grace and protection He has blessed us with.

I am so grateful for my church (Baptist Temple), my FCA brothers and sisters, and the parents and staff of Covenant Christian Academy (where Cheri was the principal) for all the prayers, cards, letters, e-mails, text messaging, food and support during the past two months. The various communities of the Rio Grande Valley have shown their concern and love by letters, cards and e-mails as well. Almost every coaching staff in S. Texas has sent their condolances to our family as well. We have been supported and encouraged by folks literally from all over the world. I don't know how people can go through something like this without the strength of the Lord and the love and support from fellow Believers. There is such a comfort and strength given and received from those that Love the Lord.

It has been an incredible experience! We have always been a real close family but this situation has brought us even closer. We have seen and felt first hand the strength and grace of the Body of Christ in action. There is a much bigger picture here than just the Sarver family. God has and is using this seemingly tragic accident as a catalyst to reach hundreds and even thousands of people with the "Good News" of Jesus Christ. Lives are being changed for eternity because of the single life of Cheri Sarver. This day, two months ago began like a rock being dropped into a pond of water. The ripples of that drop are reaching out to people in every widening circles, touching their lives by the life of Cheri.

So, today reminds us that Cheri has "graduated" to her heavenly reward. But, it also reminds us that God began a great, new work in a multitude of lives on this day as well. That work will continue until God's perfect plan has been accomplished. God is Good!

5,270,400 Seconds

2008-08-12T01:00:00.000-07:00

Two months. Sixty one days. 1,464 hours. 87,840 minutes. 5,270,400 seconds. That's how long it's been since Mom departed this earth and went home to be with her heavenly father. I will never forget the phone call on June 12, that changed my life forever. "Your mother was in a car accident and died. Your mother is dead." The words replay in my head often, haunting me, shocking me, surprising me...hitting me in the gut like an iron fist. The pain does get duller every day, but her memory is as vivid as ever. Her laughter, her smile and her kind words all combined to make make the world a better, more loving place. To make my life brighter and full of joy and purpose. I am at peace with the loss. I believe that God has a plan. I trust that it will be revealed in His time. But I miss my beautiful Mom.

My thoughtful sister

2008-08-10T16:54:00.000-07:00

I was fortunate to find a few birthday cards from Cheri while cleaning my desk. She would always add a few thoughtful, kind words such as........
"Oct. 2, 1958
You were born
We have loved you ever since. Cheri xoxoxoxo"

Happy Birthday "You are such a beautiful, lovely sister. I have enjoyed you so much as a friend. Love your sis, Cheri"

"You are loved! Hugs and Kisses xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
From your favorite sister and brother-in-law Cheri & Barney"

"Love and prayers, Cheri
My baby sister who is aging gracefully"

Cheri always remembered to send cards...........I hope I find more as I go through my stuff.
She called me on a regular basis to check in on me. Usually she was driving home from the school or was sitting in the jacuzzi relaxing. I know she called me more often than I called her and I do miss those calls. Our last phone call consisted of her looking on the internet for a place in the Hill Country to celebrate my upcoming birthday. She seemed more excited than I. Our conversation ended with me telling her that I needed to go to bed and get some sleep. After our goodbyes, I found out she promptly called Jeni and continued the internet search. She seemed to have endless energy. I miss her dearly and think of her daily. Kathy

The Olympics!

2008-08-03T18:32:00.001-07:00

This week the Olympics kicks-off in Beijing. In March, when Mom and I visited Beijing, Olympics fever was everywhere! At every turn, on every street corner and in every shop we'd see the Olympics logo and the crazy little "friendlies" that serve as the Olympics official mascots. We got to drive by the "birds nest" ... the Olympics stadium, which was quite a site to behold. You can see it (surrounded in smog) behind us in the picture below.

I'm Trading My Sorrows

2008-07-30T19:56:00.000-07:00

I'm Trading My Sorrows
Words and Music: Darryl Evans

I'm trading my sorrows
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying them down
For the joy of the Lord

I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying it down
For the joy of the Lord

We say yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Amen

I'm pressed but not crushed persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I am blessed beyond the curse
For His promise will endure
That His joy's gonna be my strength
Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes with the morning

I'm trading my sorrows
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying them down
For the joy of the Lord

I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying it down
For the joy of the Lord

We say yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Amen

Mom, the Encourager

2008-07-26T19:46:00.000-07:00

In going through some of my things today I found a packet of letters and cards my family and friends sent to me my first semester away at college. (Yes, actual letters...this was before e-mail!) I found lots of sweet notes from Mom, all of them encouraging and heart warming, but this one in particular gives me great comfort:

*************************************************************************************
Dear Sweetie:

Hello babe. I sure miss walking in your room and trying to wake you. I enjoyed your card and message of encouragement to us as parents. You are a treasure, a gift from God. Our 19 years together have been wonderful and I am looking forward to the next years-education, marriage, children, career. There is such a great world ahead of you. I know that there will be hurts, disappointments and trials but as a Christian you have a tremendous resource in God. Always keep your ears turned to the Holy Spirit. He is your teacher and your comforter. You have us to encourage you, new friends, old friends, plus a good church, pastor and youth leader. Let God's word be a source of encouragement, direction and guidance. Remember Prov. 3:5 and 6. I will feel the most reassurance and confidence in the knowledge of God's hand on you and your hand in the hand of God. God bless and keep you.

Love, hugs, kisses and prayers, Mom
*************************************************************************************

Mom was such a woman of faith...she was comforted by her intimate knowledge of her savior, and I hope to live the life of faith that she did. She knew we would be OK...no matter what trials and tribulations came our way, as long as we were deeply rooted in the Word of God, and with the Holy Spirit as our guide and comfort. During this trial, this painful loss of HER in our lives, I know it's true. I know we will be OK. That doesn't mean we don't hurt, grieve or cry, but we know we will see her on the other side.

Happy Birthday, Mom...

2008-07-21T12:23:00.000-07:00

Birthdays have always been special occasions for the Sarver family, largely because Mom worked hard to make sure we were properly celebrated on the day she worked so hard to bring us into this earth! And, since Mom and I shared birthdays just three days apart, we always celebrated together. This photo was from Mom's birthday dinner last year. I took her to Las Vegas to celebrate her 55th birthday with her sisters Suzi and Kathy. We had a blast. (We always did.) Exploring all the casinos, shopping, resting in the spa, relaxing by the pool, eating good food, seeing shows. She was so adventurous and full of life and celebrated each and every year God gave her. She never worried about getting older because she knew that meant the more time she spent on this earth, the more people she could bless. She managed to pack a lot in those nearly 56 years. Her legacy is one of kindness, generosity and service. She spent more time worrying, praying and caring for those around her then she did focused on her self. She was the picture of selflessness and example for all of us. My heart hurts today because I miss her. I want to call her and wish her happy birthday. I want to put my arms around her neck and kiss her soft cheek. I want to see her smile. I want to tell her I love her. Happy Birthday Mom. I miss you.

Happy Birthday Cheri!

2008-07-20T14:47:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow, July 21st. would have been Cheri's 56th. birthday! She did not look 56! I don't know what that means but she looked and certainly acted much younger. I was never very good at giving her presents and cards. I did give those things to her but a lot of times it was out of a sense of duty and not love nor appreciation. How I wish I would have been more caring and sensitive to her needs and wishes. It's the little things dummy!

I just returned from a "Real Men of Impact" conference in Fort Worth with 10 of Baptist Temple's Men's Ministry Leadership Team. We had an incredible time of fellowship and bonding. One of the sessions that many of us attended was entitled "Letters From Dad". It was about writing a letter of love and appreciation telling each of your children (individually), your wife and even parents how much they were loved and appreciated. Needless to say it was a real "tear jerker" for me to attend as it was for most of those men in the class as well.

I used to write Cheri great love letters when I was courting her and while she was in Texas away from me in San Diego. But like most men, after we were wed, I began to take her for granted and let those little things like love notes and flowers fall by the wayside. You know, it does not take much to show you wife that you love her. Why are we (men) so dense when it comes to the needs and desires of our wives?

With all the above in mind and the occasion of Cheri's birthday on the 21st., I'm going to write her a letter of Blessing to say how I feel about her and post it for you to read. Perhaps it will inspire a husband or father who may read it to do the same for his wife and kids while he and they are still around to appreciate it.

My Dear Cheri,

On this day of July 21, 2008, I want to give you a Blessing.

I am Blessed because you are the mother of our children.

I am Blessed because you love me in spite of all my faults and shortcomings.

I am Blessed because you openly and freely love our Lord Jesus Christ.

I am Blessed because of your incredibly radiant smile.

I am Blessed because of your love, care, and nurturing of our children.

I am Blessed because you have forgiven me thousands of times when I hurt you.

I am Blessed because you pray daily for our family, including me.

I am Blessed because of your beautiful voice when you sing.

I am Blessed because of your love for Covenant Christian Academy.

I am Blessed because of your love for God's House and His people

I am Blessed because of the way you honor and esteem me.

I am Blessed because of the way you encourage me.

I am Blessed because I see you in our four wonderful, talented, gifted children.

I am Blessed because you chose me to be your husband 34 years ago.

I am Blessed because I know that one day I will see you again.

My life has been made richer and has been more fulfilling because of You!

Happy Birthday!

I Never Got To Tell Her....

2008-07-17T13:23:00.001-07:00

I found the following article in my mailbox at Baptist Temple today. The author's name will follow at the end of the article. I don't remember meeting her but one thing is certain, Cheri made a tremendous impact on her life. In fact that impact has trickled down to the author's daughter. Cheri's life is and will be kind of like tossing a rock into a pond or lake. The ripples from the impact flow out in ever widening circles and touch all the boundaries of the that body of water. Her life has touched thousands of people of all ages and gender. Here is the story.

Usually when you see a friend's picture in the paper, your heart swells up with pride and happiness. It's as if you were friends with a local celebrity, and to a certain point - you are.

Today, I saw an old friend's picture in the paper and my heart sank. She looked just like I remembered her. Her radiant smile and shining eyes reflected all the infectious happiness she has inside. It wasn't the picture that struck the sad note, but the story to which it was attached.

"the wreck claimed the life of a well-known and respected Christian school

leader whose life inspired many children."

Cheri Sarver was my first boss in the professional field. I became a part time school teacher just a few weeks after graduating from college. It didn't make sense to me, I had studied communication, but I had always wanted to teach. I was hired as a kinder garden teacher aide.

In just a few weeks, a wealth of knowledge and experience poured out from Cheri unto me. I felt like I was living a scene from "The Matrix" in which Neo learns difficult skills in mere instances by simply plugging in and loading up.

Cheri's input and ideas extended far beyond the academic realm. She was more than just a school principal. She was a mother, a counselor, a teacher, a friend, an entertainer, an engineer, and a times - a firm disciplinarian. Cheri's unique style affected the whole school with a positive and playful attitude. It was not uncommon to see her skipping from classroom to classroom dressed as a princess or even a weight lifting champion. She inspired the children (and the teachers) to learn through play. For her, history was not a lesson - it was a discovery - and we were the voyagers.

Through Cheri, I learned that there was no such thing as a stupid student, just bad teachers. I learned that in each chair sat a unique and individual person. A child who could grow up to change the world if only his teacher got to know him and met his specific needs. I learned the value of not giving up. I discovered that the world is not flat, but full of angles. If an entrance to a child's mind is not granted through one method, there where still a million other ways to try. Cheri taught me to discipline in love, never losing the firmness that a child so desperately needs.

In the two years that I worked for her, Cheri saw me change and evolve. I may have never told her how much I learned from her, but I'm sure that she could tell. What I never got to tell her is the following...

I have a daughter. Her name is Kathryn. She looks just like me and she changed my life. I didn't know it, but my little Katy was born sick. Very sick. Deep down, on the chromosomal level, Katy was suffering constant attacks. Her brain was bombarded day and night. Her doctor didn't think there was anything wrong with her - until it was "too late".

By the time Katy was a year old, her brain had suffered serious traumas. There was very little hope for her recovery. But then the Geneticist told me about neuroplasticity, the brains ability to rewire itself and learn through undamaged brain sections. A child's brain is very resilient up to about two years of age. Basically, I had one year to teach my daughter all that she had missed. I thought of Cheri and the lessons she left imprinted on my heart. I know it was possible, if I gave it my best shot. So, I gave it my best shot!

I have cried, I have screamed and I have even bled - but I have not given up! As a result, my tow year old Katy is making a beautiful recovery. About a year ago, I was told she might not learn to walk. Today she walks, runs, springs and is even learning to jump. Her little mouth has started to blurt its first words and her way of play is just like any other child, save a minor delay. Katy is taking in the beauty of this world and discovering it bit by bit, because of what Cheri taught me.

I never got to tell her that, but when I meet her in heaven I will thank her for giving my child a second chance at life.

Michelle Gomez-Hays

Finding My Wings!

2008-07-14T20:42:00.000-07:00

I have tried several times to write something for this blog dedicated to my beautiful wife Cheri. My daughter Jeni set this up and maintains it in her memory. No doubt Jeni (or Jenifer as she is called by all except me...she'll always be my Jeni!) and my other kids, Jason, Justin and Jonathan have a hard time writing as well. Not that we don't have plenty to write about but sometimes the pain is too great to put things down in words.

How do you sum up 36 years (2 years dating and engaged) of being around a living saint? Yes, I believe that Cheri was a saint in the truest sense. But I never appreciated her in that vein until she left us on the morning of June 12, 2008. I have sat and reminisced for hours on the past years of our life together. From the moment I saw here in early 1972 as I was enrolling at Berean Bible School in San Diego, CA., I knew she was a very special woman. There was something in her that literally made her glow with the joy of life. I soon found out that something was her love relationship with her Lord, Jesus Christ. God shined His favor on me and I won her heart and we married on June 22, 1974. Needless to say our early marriage was not one to brag about and I know that I made her life miserable with my attitude, anger and selfishness. She stuck it out though, and almost made it to our 34 anniversary (June 22, 2008).

I love my wife and I miss her in the most terrible way. God IS good and He is Faithful. He has covered my kids and I with grace, love and the prayers of literally thousands of His people, a large number of whom we don't even know. But, I still miss her! I am so blessed to have such wonderful, loving kids as I do. They have been a solid rock of support and encouragement to me as I have tried to be to them. I know they miss their mom very, very much. We all know where she is and also know that one day we will all be together again in the presence of our Father and our Lord. Until then life goes on.

One of Cheri's favorite songs is a relatively new one by Mark Harris titled "Find Your Wings". This song rally epitomizes her love, dedication and support for her students at Covenant Christian Academy in McAllen, TX. Ironically she went to be with her Lord right as she was turning into the school that fateful morning in June! Since I'm beginning to ramble allow me to share with you the chorus from the song that really highlights her love for own children and those at CCA.

"I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams,
And that faith gives you the courage to dare to do great things,
I'm here for you whatever this lives brings,
So let my love give you roots and help you find your wings."

Sorry for the long post but I feel better! Bless you and yours!

Barney Sarver

How Mom dealt with grief

2008-07-14T17:47:00.001-07:00

While going through Mom's "stuff" Dad came across a journal that had just a few entries. The original entry was right before my (Justin) third birthday and dealt with the loss of my twin brother Joel. Although it had been three years, Mom's memory of that day was still very much alive. Mom's words mean a lot to me as this was a subject we rarely discussed. I'm not very open with my feelings about anything really and Mom would breach the subject occasionally but we never discussed this in depth. I imagine her sweet soft voice in my head when I read this. I was trying to decide if I should leave anything out but I'd rather just post her thoughts in entirety.

February 7, 1985
The bittersweet experiences in life are a special learning and growing time. We have a choice not in the situations themselves but in how we react to them. As we trust in God our Father to direct our paths there is a certain assurance in which we can rest. Not that everything will always be exactly what we want it to be or that our dreams will come true but that we can be certain of God’s love and lean on Him. We can dream our dreams and set up some circumstances but God always has His final word. Who are we to change the plan and purposes of God? Life and death and eternity are in His hands. He gives and He takes. Can we manipulate Him? No I think not. Our greatest peace is in following after Him and His commandments.
I have seen life and I have seen death. I have felt the pains to deliver a life. Such an overwhelming joy – 10 fingers, 10 toes – soft fuzzy baby flesh. A soft cry, such bright lights and oh such a big world for one so small. (Where’s mama? Where’s my dark little hideaway and my companion to cuddle with. Help! I was forced from my place of security. The cord has been cut, my life line. I want my Mama.)
I have felt the pain to deliver another life but fear came and fierce pain. Concern and worry reflected off the faces around. Pray, oh please pray. Oh little one please come out. I want to count your 10 fingers and 10 toes. To feel your warm flesh next to mine. You have been a dream come true. How can it be that my dreams seem to be crumbling around me? I want you little one. Your brother is waiting, please join us. Pain grows stronger but life is not produced. I beg for prayer. I sense a disappointment, a knowing with in. Life will not come, and inability to come. Pain intensifies and then a dreamless sleep. Where am I? I open my eyes. How is the baby – he didn’t make it. He didn’t make it?? How can that be? He was mine! He grew within me. I felt his kicks, his summersaults, his wrestling with his brother. He’s gone? I can’t believe it. We prayed; begged, asked, beseeched. Somehow my dream is deflated. I have one dear little life ready t o grow but yet I want the other. I feel cheated. Tears are falling freely around, but I am yet stunned. A question. Do I want to see the life that became death? The 10 little fingers and 10 little toes that will never wiggle. Oh yes, no hesitation. He is still mine. A delicate bundle of love, eyes closed in eternal sleep. I touch his warm cheek. Oh please open your eyes dear little one, please live. I long to hold that dear body to my breast, to give him life. I lack in strength to rekindle that breath of life. They take my little Joel Roy – goodbye, goodbye I breathe out. I will see you in heaven with my Jesus. We will miss you so deeply. We had many great plans for you. I will no longer dream in double. You are only a body now to be taken and planted in the ground. You flesh loses the warmth I have given you. We no longer share life. I rejoice in the life of my Justin, his warm flesh comforts me in my grief but yet there is an ache. In His time, He makes all things beautiful…but how about my time, my dreams? His peace answers me …In His time, death will bring life. Life produced by death carries no bitterness, but a sweet fragrance. Though the bud was never unfolded and produced a full bloom, the fragrance has remained.
Nearly 3 years have passed since that time. Days, weeks, months have flown by. I was never more excited in my life when Dr. Ben Garza heard more than one heart beat. Twins a dream come true. I knew there was a possibility but to actually happen to me, what excitement! I danced the awkward jig that only a 7 month pregnant woman can dance. The sonogram on Feb 12, 1982 proved what we knew. Two babies developing within me. Now I understood the long period of morning sickness, the discomfort – double trouble, double pleasure, double fun. I read everything I could about twins – books, articles, I talk twins, dreamed about twins, thought about twins – told everyone I knew that I was going to have twins, I pictured myself pushing a twin stroller – nursing twins – time passed by swiftly and on March 11 I knew my time was close. Barney playin a B-Ball tournament came home about 11 and said “Don’t you dare have those babies tonight.” Well I let him sleep til 6:00. I awoke with a start! The bed was soaked – My water broke! We called the folks and Barney showered took a picture of me. What a belly!
Dad arrive first, Mom a minute later. Dad was afraid Mom was too slow. We took off for the hospital. My window wouldn’t close, so Barney was going slow. I was cool and calm by in active hard labor – I encouraged Barney to go just a little faster. He thought he had plenty of time because I was so calm! We hurried to OB ward – I told the nurses I was having twins and that I have babies very fast so call Dr. Ben. Of course the nurses, creatures of habit, had to check me out and then hurriedly called Dr. Ben. I wanted pillows for support but all they came up with is a bassinet mattress. It was frustrating but I didn’t have time to get up a fuss about my discomfort. Next time I’ll bring my own. Sure! They wheeled me in to deliver and after a few good pushed Justin “popped” out. What a joy. He was born at 6:59. I was ready to go again but the situation changed. After waiting a little we found that Joel changed his mind about birth. He circled past the birth canal and stretched sideway. His heart rate was getting difficult to pick up. Dr. Ben tried to change his position but couldn’t, a limp arm appeared at one time. I could read the concern and frustration in the faces around. We worked for a while and decided to do a C-section. In the hallway Dr. B told Barney he didn’t have much hope for the baby. The nurses asked me if I wanted to be fixed in order not to have anymore babies. I thought that was awfully thoughtless and inconsiderate of them. That is no time to press a woman for a decision. I was having such hard contractions- I couldn’t wait till they put me out. They said I came to in recovery and asked about the baby but I don’t remember that. I remember waking up and Barney crying by my bed. Joel died in delivery. What a terrible disappointment. Barney was crushed. Why me God was his cry. They showed Joel to me wrapped in a blanket. Such a beautiful little guy the only thing missing was his breath. It tore my heart when they took him away. I was constantly reminded of twins for the next 2 weeks. The nurses were twins; there were twins in the nursery, twins in the Dr’s office and twins at the health center. What a reminder. Time has past and now Justin will soon be celebrating his 3rd year of life. When we ask him where his brother Joel is, he points upward and says in heaven with Jesus. That is our hope and joy, to one day see our brother and son in heaven.
May 20, 2005
I read again my words expressed on paper and tears once again fill my eyes and wash over my face. I do miss my baby – time doesn’t really heal…I still feel his flesh – the pain, the disappointment, the grief – the empty arm – both should have held a son. Over 23 years have passed – Justin is a fine young man – he fills my heart with pride.

It's all about family...

2008-07-13T17:44:00.000-07:00

Family was important to Mom. Incredibly important. She was constantly connected to "the fam," checking in over e-mail, lots of phone calls, and most recently even texts and facebook messages! But even before she had a family of her own, she was surrounded by her two brothers and two sisters, and countless cousins. I think she always wanted a big family, because she had so much fun growing up. The stories of skiing in the canal, being locked in a water tank, using a cow trough as a hot tub...hours of fun with her brothers, sisters and cousins. She always instilled in us the importance of being friends with your siblings, treating each others as equals, respecting one another and always looking out for one another. We never fought. We weren't allowed, and today as adults we are closer than any siblings I know. Here's a photo of Mom, Grandpa Johnson and her four siblings, Kathy, Paul, Doug and Suzi. The last picture they took as a family. And here's a picture of us now...the new Sarver family. One less person on earth...but one more beautiful soul in heaven.

A Proverbs Woman

2008-07-10T10:46:00.000-07:00

This is the passage that Oscar Roan read at Mom's service. As I read through I thank God that we were blessed to have such a woman in our lives.

The Woman Who Fears the LORD

Proverbs 31:10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. 11The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. 12She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. 13 She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. 14 She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. 15 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. 16 She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. 17 She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. 18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. 19 She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. 20 She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. 22 She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. 25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 27 She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29"Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all." 30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.

If anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.

2008-07-08T15:02:00.000-07:00

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable...if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things." Philippians 4:8

The mind is a powerful tool. To think on such things that are true, noble, right and pure, rather then on the ugly, harsh realities of this world is indeed a challenging-but rewarding-endeavor. Mom's death has provided amazing opportunities for self reflection and lots of time to think. Transforming our minds to think on things that are Holy, rather than earthly, enables us to refocus our eyes on heaven, giving God the glory, no matter the circumstance. My prayer for you, friends and family, is that you will think on SUCH things. It's what Mom would do.

Starbucks and The Trip of a Lifetime

2008-07-03T14:55:00.001-07:00

In March, Mom and I traveled on a 10-day journey to China. We kept saying it was the "trip of a lifetime"...which, of course, turned out to be true for her. As much as we enjoyed eating interesting food, exploring new things and taking part in Chinese culture, there was one thing we couldn't do with out: STARBUCKS. Luckily, the westernization of China has included dropping a few hundred of the java joints around the country so weary Americans can stumble their way past thousands of years of culture and history to find a strong cup of coffee. Here's a couple of photos of Starbucks in Xian...

and in Beijing...

Check out all of the China pictures at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/15829594@N00/sets/72157604262980291/

There's that smile again...

2008-07-02T19:28:00.000-07:00

One thing that everyone has said about Mom is that she was always smiling. It's true. I can't find any pictures of her without a smile. This one was taken in Honolulu in December, 2005. We were there to run the Honolulu Marathon. Of course, Mom was there to cheer us on...she always was. No matter what, she was our champion. Even if she couldn't tell a touchdown from a three-pointer in sports, or an A flat from a B sharp in piano...she cheered us on. I know she's still rooting for us from the heavens.

I'm Free

2008-07-02T17:00:00.000-07:00

Read this & thought it could hardly be more appropriate or true, your mom was a candle that was never hidden under any bushel! She shined bright & by her light, many came to know. Hope this brings you comfort!

I'm Free
I’m Free Don’t grieve for me, for now I’m free, I followed the path God laid you see.
I took His hand when I heard him call, I turned my back & left it all.
I could not stay another day to laugh, to love, to work, to play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way I found peace at the close of day.
If my parting has left a void; Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss oh yes, these things I too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life’s been full, I savored much; Good friends, good times, a loved one’s touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief; Don’t lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your hearts and peace to thee; God wanted me know, He has set me free!

A Picture of Happiness

2008-07-01T13:00:00.001-07:00

This picture just makes me smile...Jason, Jen and Mom on summer vacation in Colorado. (I presume Dad is on the other side of the lens!) All of my memories of Mom are of her smiling. She brought so much joy to our lives.

Napalm is very powerful but faith, forgiveness and love are much more powerful.

2008-07-01T06:58:00.000-07:00

This story was on NPR yesterday and really struck a chord about the power of forgiveness. In dealing with our own emotions concerning Mom's death, it is an amazing reminder of the pain and suffering and others and the power of God to heal even the deepest wounds.

Kim Phuc is best known as the girl in the famous photo of a Vietnam War napalm-bombing attack near Saigon. She now lives in Toronto with her husband and two children. Her organization, Kim Foundation International, aids children who are war victims. (Photo credit: AP Photo/Nick Ut)

All Things Considered, June 30, 2008
By : Kim Phuc
On June 8, 1972, I ran out from Cao Dai temple in my village, Trang Bang, South Vietnam; I saw an airplane getting lower and then four bombs falling down. I saw fire everywhere around me. Then I saw the fire over my body, especially on my left arm. My clothes had been burned off by fire. I was 9 years old but I still remember my thoughts at that moment: I would be ugly and people would treat me in a different way. My picture was taken in that moment on Road No. 1 from Saigon to Phnom Penh. After a soldier gave me some drink and poured water over my body, I lost my consciousness.
Several days after, I realized that I was in the hospital, where I spent 14 months and had 17 operations.
It was a very difficult time for me when I went home from the hospital. Our house was destroyed; we lost everything and we just survived day by day.
Although I suffered from pain, itching and headaches all the time, the long hospital stay made me dream to become a doctor. But my studies were cut short by the local government. They wanted me as a symbol of the state. I could not go to school anymore.
The anger inside me was like a hatred as high as a mountain. I hated my life. I hated all people who were normal because I was not normal. I really wanted to die many times.
I spent my daytime in the library to read a lot of religious books to find a purpose for my life. One of the books that I read was the Holy Bible.
In Christmas 1982, I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal savior. It was an amazing turning point in my life. God helped me to learn to forgive — the most difficult of all lessons. It didn't happen in a day and it wasn't easy. But I finally got it.
Forgiveness made me free from hatred. I still have many scars on my body and severe pain most days but my heart is cleansed.
Napalm is very powerful but faith, forgiveness and love are much more powerful. We would not have war at all if everyone could learn how to live with true love, hope and forgiveness.
If that little girl in the picture can do it, ask yourself: Can you?
This essay was produced by Anne Penman for the Canadian Broadcasting Corp. NPR's This I Believe is independently produced by Jay Allison and Dan Gediman with John Gregory and Viki Merrick.

Full link at: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=91964687

Words of Comfort

2008-06-29T22:20:00.000-07:00

The words, poems, scriptures and messages shared with us during this time have been a true blessing...below are a few that brought particular comfort:

"Now the heavens are brigher by one more star."
"Grief is not the linear, seven-step process you read about. It is all over the place and nearly impossible to predict. You may be numb for awhile or it may hit you right away. Grief is a very personal thing and it comes in waves. Some days the waves just lap at your feet and others the waves knock you down. It's hard to fight the waves, so I suggest you try to ride them."
"There's a saying that God never gives us more burdens than we can bear...and if that's true, then God must think you're very, very strong."
"Somewhere a journey begins at the end of the worldly existence we know, Somewhere a path stretches over the stars and rivers of memories flow...Somewhere a silence is heard far away and the brightness of day fills the night, where the trials of life are resolved into peace when a soul finds its way to the light."
"May god's eternal love surround you with comfort and strenght as you carry her spirit forward."
"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that is troublesome." [Isaac Asimov]
"Time does heal. You will learn the reasons. God does have a plan for you and your family. And you will come to know it late one evening, or perhaps at another point in time when you are alone with thought, your Mom whispers to you: 'It's okay, child.'"
"May The Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you. May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace." [Numbers 6:24]

Sarver Family Remembers Their Mom And Wife Through Laughter And Love

2008-06-26T17:29:00.000-07:00

Sarver Family Remembers Their Mom And Wife Through Laughter And Love

By Kenny Lopez, KVEO

Story Updated: Jun 23, 2008 at 8:32 PM CDT
Find article and video at: http://www.kveo.com/news/local/20621564.html

The Cheri Sarver family, who lost their loved one in a traffic collision, speaks only on News Center 23.Police are now charging a 16 year old, with intoxication manslaughter for her death.The family of Mcallen principal, Cheri Sarver went to the beach to find some peace.The Sarver family says, the beach was one of 56-year old, Cheri's favorite places to go.For months, she had been talking about all 6 of them, hitting the sands of South Padre.Unfortunately her life was taken in that car collision, so the Sarver's decided to take a trip to the beach, in memory of her.The Sarver family is finding solace in the ocean waves and the South Padre sands.Knowing, someone's love is shining down on them from heaven.Mcallen's Covenant Christian Academy principal, Cheri Sarver was a wife to Barney, and a mom to Jenifer, Jason, Justin, and Johnathan.They all say they're coping with her death, through humor.The Sarver's are now celebrating her life, with liveliess, and laughter.Her children say, she instilled in them, some very powerful life lessons like faith and good morals.The family says, what Cheri would want is everyone to forgive the teen who accidentally, caused the collision.Police say, they believe the teen, was under the influence of marijuana when he crashed into Cheri's SUV..

Family and friends pay tribute to Christian school principal

2008-06-26T17:23:00.000-07:00

Family and friends pay tribute to Christian school principal
Jennifer L. Berghom, The Monitor
June 17, 2008 - 5:59PM

McALLEN -- Milton Gonzalez remembered how Cheri Sarver helped him get a job teaching math at Covenant Christian Academy.

He wasn't a Christian at the time, but the school hired him anyway. Sarver took him under her wing, always prayed for him and had him sit in on Bible classes with students at the private Christian school.
"She was like a second mother to me," said Gonzalez, who is now a minister. "When no one else believed in me, she would. She prayed me all the way to the pulpit and I thank her for that."
His story was one of many shared Tuesday at Sarver's memorial service at Baptist Temple, where she attended with her family. Every pew in the church's sanctuary was filled and more people stood in back to pay tribute to the late principal.
Sarver, 56, died Thursday from injuries she sustained in a two-vehicle crash at the intersection of North Ware Road and Nolana.
She is survived by her husband, Barney, four children and a host of other relatives and friends.
Cheri Sarver, who grew up in the Rio Grande Valley, was principal at Covenant Christian for seven years. The school educates students from prekindergarten through eighth grade.
The common message revolved around Cheri Sarver's deep faith in God and how her mission at the school was to make sure everyone knew Jesus as their savior.
Barney Sarver remembered how his wife would wake up early every morning and read her Bible and how she always prayed for their family's well-being.
"I realize now the success of our family and our life was largely because of my wife," he said.
He also asked everyone in attendance to pray for the teenager who was at the wheel of the second vehicle involved in the fatal crash.
"We have forgiven him," he said.
The couple's children also took turns praising their mother, thanking her for being their confidant, cheerleader and friend.
"She made me feel like I could do anything," said Jenifer Sarver, the couple's oldest child.
Jason Sarver said he was still angry and in shock about his mother's death.
"I don't understand this," he said. "I expected my mother to be a grandmother someday to my children."
The service also included a slideshow of photos from Cheri Sarver's life and music, followed by a reception at Covenant Christian Academy.
The Sarver family set up a memorial fund in Cheri Sarver's honor to benefit the school. Donations can be made at any Lone Star National Bank.
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Jennifer L. Berghom covers education and general assignments for The Monitor. She can be reached at (956) 683-4462.

Cheri Sarver: A legacy of family, faith and service.

2008-06-26T09:41:00.000-07:00

On June 12, 2008, my mother, Cheri Sarver, was tragically taken from us. She made an enormous impact in her life, and we have faith that she will make an even greater impact through her death. This blog is a way to keep her memory and her legacy of family, faith and service alive. She was an extraordinary human being and is no doubt rejoicing with her beloved Savior in heaven. She leaves a gaping hole on this earth. I hope to slowly shovel bits and pieces into that hole by sharing memories, photos and stories of her life. No one will ever replace her and the hole will never be fully filled, but one day I hope that the grief, sadness and sorrow will fade, and that joy, hope and peace will be more familiar emotions.